Humor: The Onion on the “Intelligent Falling” Controversy

The guys at the Onion are so thorough in their lampoons, I just had to share:,1778/#

The controversy:

Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held “theory of gravity” is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.

The credentials:

…Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.

The failure of secular science:

… there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise.

Teaching the controversy:

They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue “so they can make an informed decision.”

A must read, it just keeps going, and going, and going… 🙂


  1. The Onion are on top of their game. I enjoy their pieces a lot.
    Thanks for sharing


  2. ‘Evangelical physicists’ – is this an oxymoron perhaps? The article leaves me amazed, amused and sad. Mostly sad.


    • Well, have to say, not me – I laughed my socks off. I’ve read so many creationist books at this point. Onion nails ’em, word for word, phrase for phrase. Humor is a powerful tool. 🙂


  3. Hilarious. I loved the falling in the ditch analogy. This is the Crispyans to a T.

    Thanks for posting.


  4. ignorantianescia says:

    This is quite droll. The location is apt too.

    The thing is, with fringe fads like new heliocentrism around, reality might be even more ridiculous.


  5. archaeopteryx1 says:

    While we’re on the subject of humor:

    Kids’ Letters to God

    Dear GOD,
    In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?
    * Jane

    Dear GOD,
    Are you really invisible or is that just a trick?
    * Lucy

    Dear GOD,
    Is it true my father won’t get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the house?
    * Anita

    Dear GOD,
    Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
    * Norma

    Dear GOD,
    Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones,why don’t You just keep the ones You have now?
    * Jane

    Dear GOD,
    Who draws the lines around the countries?
    * Nan

    Dear GOD,
    I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?
    * Neil

    Dear GOD,
    What does it mean You are a Jealous God? I thought You had everything.
    * Jane

    Dear GOD,
    Did you really mean “do unto others as they do unto you”? Because if you did, then I’m going to fix my brother!
    * Darla

    Dear GOD,
    Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.
    * Joyce

    Dear GOD,
    It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He saidsome things about You that people are not supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him anyway.
    Your friend
    (But I am not going to tell you who I am)

    Dear GOD,
    Why is Sunday school on Sunday? I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest.
    * Tom L.

    Dear GOD,
    Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before, You can look it up.
    * Bruce

    Dear GOD,
    If You give me a genie lamp like Aladin, I will give you anything you want except my money or my chess set.
    * Raphael

    Dear GOD,
    My brother is a rat. You should give him a tail. Ha ha.
    * Danny

    Dear GOD,
    Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.
    * Larry

    Dear GOD,
    I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all over.
    * Sam

    Dear GOD,
    I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions.
    * Ruth M.

    Dear GOD,
    I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
    * Nan

    Dear GOD,
    If You watch me in church Sunday, I’ll show You my new shoes.
    * Mickey D.

    Dear GOD,
    I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible.
    Love, Chris

    Dear GOD,
    We read Thomas Edison made light. But in school they said You did it. So I bet he stoled your idea.
    Sincerely, Donna



  1. […] word of thanks to ignorantianescia for the heads up on this […]


Leave a Reply to (Matt) Brisancian Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

SoundEagle 🦅ೋღஜஇ

Where The Eagles Fly . . . . Art Science Poetry Music & Ideas

Michael Seidel, writer

Science fiction, fantasy, mystery and what-not

cas d'intérêt

Reflections of a Francophile

Two Wheels Across Texas

My Quest to ride through all 254 Texas Counties

She Seeks Nonfiction

A skeptic's quest for books, science, & humanism

Uncommon Sense

I don’t want to start a class war; it started a long time ago and, unfortunately, we lost.

Variant Readings

Thoughts on History, Religion, Archaeology, Papyrology, etc. by Brent Nongbri

%d bloggers like this: